At Red Door Life, as part of our 12 Dimensions signature model of care, we believe in looking at our common human struggles in non-pathologizing, creative ways. One of our practices in our Monday night telehealth group A Self Led Life: Entrepreneurs in Recovery is to take business and entrepreneurship concepts and apply them to our own inner and life management. In a sense, we are all entrepreneurs running the organization of our life towards our brightest desired outcome life.
Navigating the holiday season with family can be challenging, especially for those in early recovery or processing past trauma. In his TED Talk, Why Strategy Is More Than a Long-Term Plan, Stephan Hungeling (advisor, investor, CEO) explores how strategic and tactical thinking applies to business success. Here, we reinterpret his insights as a roadmap for managing potentially triggering situations during the holidays. In our article here we have adapted these concepts to support well-being and safety throughout the season.
Understanding Strategy vs. Tactics
A strategy is a guiding approach to your planned direction, while tactics are specific actions you take to implement that approach. For someone in recovery or dealing with trauma, a helpful holiday strategy might be to prioritize emotional safety, maintain stability, and stay aligned with personal well-being goals. Tactics, on the other hand, are practical steps within that strategy: setting boundaries, creating a personal support plan, and preparing responses for triggering conversations. Tactics are what we can change, adjust, and call in as needed while our strategy remains constant.
Developing a Holiday Strategy
An effective strategy for navigating holiday gatherings might start with reflecting on your needs, values, and potential stressors. Identify what might trigger you in a family setting, and develop a core strategy, such as “maintaining emotional balance” or “practicing self-compassion”. This overarching focus helps you stay centered when challenges arise, serving as a guide to avoid reactive decisions. Your strategy might change from holiday to holiday as you grow and get to understand yourself better.
Based on your observations of what has been challenging in the past as well as factoring in where you are at in your recovery journey, what is your strategy for navigating this Thanksgiving?
Once we have defined our strategy, we can then define our tactics. How will we stay focused on our strategy no matter what arises? For instance, if your strategy is maintaining emotional balance, your tactics might include setting aside quiet time each morning to do grounding practices such as meditation or journaling. Later in the day, we may need more tactics such as checking in with yourself in solitude on a regular schedule to honestly assess how you are feeling. Has anything triggered you? What action(s) do you need to take to make the space safe for yourself? At the end of the day, you may want to create more tactics such as journaling a review of the day- what went well and what can be improved? Or calling a friend, sponsor, or therapist to process the events of the day. Tactics can also include attending additional meetings or seeking out beneficial group settings like yoga, workout, or meditation classes to help stress move through your body.
Tactics to Support Your Strategy
Here are some more suggested tactics to support your holiday strategy:
Setting Boundaries – Boundaries are guidelines we clarify for ourselves (and others, when necessary) that keep us safe from energetic depletion, nervous system dysregulation, emotional destabilization, and physical harm. Decide in advance on things like time limits, topics you prefer to avoid, or ways that you would or would not like to be treated. If necessary, communicate these to those you will be spending time with in advance so that you prepare a safe space for yourself. For example, if your strategy involves avoiding difficult discussions, a tactic might be to prepare a gentle script to steer conversations away from these subjects as they come up. You can even work on this with a trusted friend, sponsor, or therapist. It is easier to plan in advance so you know exactly how to respond when stress arises.
Pre-planned Breaks – Notice when you feel overstimulated. Being around loved ones can be much more intense under the surface than we realize due to subtext and history. If family gatherings become overwhelming, give yourself permission to take breaks. A simple tactic like a quick walk, sitting in another room and checking in with yourself, or a simple deep breathing exercise can reinforce your emotional balance.
Accountability Partners – Share your goals with a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist. Having someone to check in with periodically reinforces your commitment to your strategy. It is much easier to navigate stress when we feel someone is with us, holding our metaphorical hand.
Pay Attention- Tune into your system’s signals. Often way in advance of a panic attack, cravings, or a depressive spiral, there are many signals within our body and nervous system meant to serve as warnings that pressure is building or we are feeling overwhelmed. By being more present with what our body, mind, and nervous system and hearing what they are trying to communicate to us we can learn to take better care of ourselves in real time, avoiding overload.
What tactics will you use to help support your strategy?
Adapting Tactics in the Moment
Remember, holidays are unpredictable, and tactics might need to adapt in real time. This highlights the importance of dynamic thinking: if a tactic (like a pre-planned break) isn’t feasible, shift to another—such as texting a friend or stepping outside for fresh air. Being adaptable allows you to honor your strategy and stay true to your recovery goals even if specific tactics change.
Post-Holiday Reflection
Learning and collecting data is key to personal growth. Reflecting on your experiences after the holidays can be an essential tactic, allowing you to assess what worked and where you struggled. This helps you get to know yourself better so you can refine your approach for the future, strengthening your long-term strategy of emotional health.
By approaching holiday gatherings strategically, you give yourself a framework for navigating potential stressors with grace and resilience. You can respond instead of react. With clear strategies and adaptable tactics, you can manage holiday triggers with greater confidence, safety, and emotional stability, supporting your recovery and mental well-being.
Join us for our annual Red Door Life Community Thanksgiving Dinner!
Come by yourself or bring your loved ones, all are welcome!
RDL HOUSE 2, 14465 Mulholland Drive LA, CA 90077 | Nov 28 | 3-8PM
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